Singing In The Rain

March 11, 2009


This makeover has me so stressed out that I’m walking and chit chatting in my sleep. This could be a potentially explosive situation. Alfred could ask me anything and I would tell the truth. For those of you who have read my past journal entries you know what I mean.

The alarm goes off at 5 AM, I reach for my glasses and they are not where I always put them. I turn the light on and look on the floor. Nope not there. I’m not flipping out yet, I’m just worried that I could step on them. Alfred is now up from the noise I am making as I talk to myself and continue the search. I check by the computer, but my reading glasses are all I find. Now I am starting to panic and Alfred joins the search.

Some 30 minutes later, we are still looking. Dog jaws are pried opened and flashlight beams can be seen under beds and couches.

I can’t see past my nose and Alfred says he will take care of the horses. It’s pouring outside and has been since yesterday. In my mind I’m thinking how great this is. It’s 38 degrees and I’m not going to get wet. I immediately try to atone for my sinful thoughts, but it’s to late. In my mind I am now humming, ‘Singing in the Rain.’ God is going to punish me for this. The sound of glasses crunching is just seconds away. The back door closes and I start singing out loud. The dogs are jumping up on me and I dance with Wesley.

Alfred finally returns to the house and the glasses are still missing. He starts looking around since he is the only person who can see anything. I hear him say, “I found them.”

“Where were they?” I ask.

“In my office,” he replies.

I thank God for the return of the glasses and I ask for forgiveness of my sins. And darn it, don’t ya know, I start humming ‘Singing in the Rain.’

Job Well Done

March 12, 2009

I am wondering what I’m going to do after this contest is over. How will I fill my days if I’m not busy on the ZooToo site? I suppose I could spend more time cleaning, doing laundry and cooking dinner. But, let’s be honest, is there really anybody out there that would rather be doing housework. It’s been a great 5 months and I really don’t want it to end.

We should all be proud of ourselves for working so hard. Everybody wants to win and I think we all have already won. We’ve made new friends, learned things we didn’t know before and most importantly that we all have big hearts. Not many people have big hearts anymore. We are special people who care about others. It doesn’t matter how many legs they have, when we see a need we get up and help. People should realize how lucky they are to know us. We care and it shows.

So to everyone who worked for the good of their favorite Rescue and Shelter, give yourself a round of applause. To the ZooToo people and the sponsors, we thank you for helping us, to help the least among us.

Well, don’t start clapping if you’re not alone or with other Zooers. Alfred just jumped about four feet. He grabbed his chest and asked, “What was I trying to do scare him to death?”

“Just giving my self a hand,” I replied. He looked at me like I was nuts. He also gives me the same look when I stand up in the living room if I hear the Star Spangled Banner on TV. What can I say, I’m patriotic and passionate.

ZooToo's Top 20

March 13, 2009

Our yard is under water. Alfred spent the day digging trenches with the tractor. He has left for Lowe’s so he can buy caution tape. I’m thinking horses can’t read. Just use the clothes line you won’t put up because you don’t want people to watch our clothes dry. No he needs caution tape.

If a small animal falls in one of these trenches, they will be traveling at a rate of speed equal to a white water rafting thrill ride. I’m concerned about the squirrel that runs back and forth through our yard all day long. I’m forever telling him to get out of the road. He comes on our porch and chews up towels and rag rugs for his nest. He’s a busy little guy.

I thought the horses were tucked in for the night, but Moose and Natasha are playing musical stalls. Wesley has a stomach ache because Alfred fed him too many Nilla Wafers yesterday. Barney is begging for what ever he can find and Max doesn’t feel like eating at all.

I can see sleeping is going to be difficult tonight. You all realize that we could crash the ZooToo website as we all try to log on to see who is in the Top 20.

I’ve enjoyed the site. I loved seeing the videos and pictures, the journals were fun too.

Good Luck everyone.

The Jolly Ball

March 20, 2009


This morning I batted my eyelashes at Alfred and said, “Honey, do you know what tomorrow is?”

“Nope,” he replied.

“It’s our Anniversary.” I gentle reminded him.

“Well, that’s a first.” He said.

“I know this is the first time I remembered the date, but you don’t have to be so crabby about it.”

“How many years have we been married?” He asked.

“Got a calculator?” I asked.

“What year did we get married?” He pushed even further.

“I don’t know…..1991 maybe 92, oh wait 93.” I said proudly.

“Wrong, you get nothing again this year.”

“Well, maybe I’m just so happy with you that I can’t keep tracked of the wonderful years that have flown by.” I said, trying to mask the fact that I have never remembered what year; day or date we tied the knot.

“Nice try, you can have that Jolly Ball you’ve been asking for since the horses got here.”

“Wait one minute Mister,” I snapped. “I need that Jolly Ball for Moose. Moose is your horse.”

He looked at me and I knew it was another anniversary I screwed up. Defeated I grabbed my keys and headed over to Tractor Supply. I was divided between the many colors they come in. Finally, I had it down to two, red or purple. I went with the red. Happy as can be, I drove home singing along with Garth and Trisha, “In another’s eyes.”

Once home, I waited for Alfred to finish up on the phone so he could see Moose receive his new toy. I held it out and the jackass runs off like I pulled a knife on him.

“What are you trying to do scare him to death,” he said, running into the yard to comfort the big lug.

I picked up the Jolly Ball and walked down to the barn wondering how I had been so wrong about Moose not enjoying a Jolly Ball. He picks up everything he gets near. My lawn chairs, hay stands that Alfred has made, and he is now chewing on the handles of the wheel barrel. I get splinters. The boy needs a Jolly Ball. I’m pretty much tired of being squirted with the hose because he has picked it up by the nozzle spraying everyone but himself. I put the Jolly Ball down in the middle of the yard and went into the house to spy on him from the kitchen windows.

He started eating grass in a circle around the Jolly Ball. Slowly he moved toward it and I’m cheering him on from inside the house. He’s about to touch it with his nose and ‘WHAM’ Natasha shows up from out of no where and kicks him. My neck extends like E.T.’s and my eyes bulge out of my head. I run into the yard to see if he’s okay. I am not the best person to be checking on him because the Mafia Princess has just kicked him and her two legged side kick is running through the yard directly towards him. He puts his head up, nostrils flaring, and he is backing away from the Jolly Ball and me as fast as he can.

“It’s okay Moose,” I say, extending my arms in a bear hug position. “Mommy just wanted you to have a Jolly Ball to play with.” I gently rub his neck and he begins to calm down. I put the Jolly Ball on the side of the barn and go back into the house to finish the cleaning I had started.

I take a quick peek into the yard and ‘WHAM’, Natasha comes from behind the barn and kicks him again as he’s nosing the Jolly Ball. I have a few colorful metaphors that escape my lips as I race into the yard again.

“NATASHA!!!” I holler, “What the heck are you doing?” She turns her butt in my direction and sashays away. “Geez, Moose, I’m really sorry. This is my anniversary gift. I really thought you would like it.” I put the Jolly Ball in the feed room hoping this will save Moose’s life.

All is quiet until dinner time. I open up the feed room door and the Jolly Ball rolls out. How can this be I think to myself. It has a handle on it. It just waddled out the door, handle staying on the side until it hits the ground. Now it’s kind of rolling and popping up and down from the handle hitting the ground, that’s when Moose and I hear hoof beats bearing down on us. He jumps in his stall and I jump in the feed room. ‘WHAM” Natasha kicks the feed room door. I pull my cell phone out to call Alfred to save us. The calls keep dropping because the barn is metal. More colorful metaphors are now spewing from my mouth. I talk to Moose through the wall, “Do you see her?” I ask.

The feed room door is suddenly jerked open and I wheeze as I suck in my breath from fear. Alfred is standing there asking me, “What the heck are you doing?”

“Nothing.” I say.

“You’ve called me four times and when I pick up you’re not there.”

I try to think quick, “My butt called you,” I said. I pull my cell phone out of my back pocket and smile at him. Thank goodness he knows the commercial I’m referring to.

“Put it somewhere else. I have work I need to finish.”

He turns to walk away and Natasha joins him in a walk to the gate, her butt sashaying in the wind.

I turn to Moose and say, “She’s out of control. He stares at me and I quickly add, “I promise, I’ll take the Jolly Ball back.”

Moose The Chia Pet

March 23, 2009


Yesterday Alfred and I planted ¾’s of an acre of Organic Horse Grass for the horses. We also ran a small stream through our yard because we are expecting 4 days of rain up here in Hopkins County.

We have a yard that floods and the seller failed to disclose this on the Seller’s Disclosure Form. I had my Real Estate License for 3+ years and I hated it. Since there is no real estate in heaven I couldn’t see the need to keep doing this retched job. However, I was quite good at it.

Back to my story….our yard floods. Alfred and I get sick every time we have rain because the horses are walking in mud and this is not the level of care we pictured when we moved them up here.

We have put in 3 french drains and now a stream I will line with small rocks. Alfred will be building a bridge for the horses and the wheel barrel. This should be fun when I have 50 lb. bags of horse food and a dozen bails of hay to take to the feed room.

We have a spreader on the riding lawn mower and I had poured half of a 50 lb. bag in the contraption. I put the bag on the porch and when I turn around Moose and Noel are eating it. They were so enticed with this new culinary delight that I really couldn’t get them away from it. I tried to ride the mower into the yard and it was impossible. I’m waving my arms at Alfred who is on the tractor digging and he doesn’t see me. How this can be I just don’t understand. But, the man is getting on in years and there are times when a gallon of milk eludes him on the top shelf of the refrigerator. Still, this doesn’t help me with the problem of the moment. I am watching $90.00 worth of grass seed being inhale by the boys. If Natasha had been eating it, I would have just given up and walked away with my tail between my legs.

That’s when Wesley runs across the yard with the Jolly Ball in his mouth and the boys move away as if Wesley is running on remote control, and I have the controller. I jump on the mower and drive into the yard shutting the gate on the boys. I spread grass seed and add a thin layer of top soil and we hope to have a green pasture once again. Now we are looking forward to the rain, provided it is just enough to get our seed started.

Today, out of no where it rains for about 30 seconds. Moose hits the ground rolling around like a hump back whale. I don’t think anything of it until I go into the yard to make sure everyone still has water from this morning in their stall buckets.

As I get closer to Moose I see white flecks on him and Noel is kind of licking him. What is this new activity I wonder? That is when the grass seed can be seen by the naked eye. Moose is cover with it. It starts to drizzle again and I wonder if Moose is going to sprout like a Chia Pet. I’ve always wanted one. I just don’t have a green thumb. I killed an air fern once and that about says it all.

I think that maybe I should brush it off and hope it lands back on the ground so it can grow where it was intended to. That’s when Natasha sashays over and starts licking Moose too.

His eyes dart back and forth in fear of being bitten, but he stands like a statue. I too wonder what could happen next, but all goes well as Natasha walks on with Noel right behind her.

Moose shakes himself and some grass seed lands back on the ground and I’m thinking I should get the hose. I could have the first walking Chia Pet on the planet.

The big lug walks over and pushes me into the barn with his head in a loving gesture. I give him a big hug and he bites my shoulder blade. I sigh and wonder exactly how much abuse the human body can actually take.

God I love these guys!!!!!

Natasha Has Colic

March 26,2009


Everyone out there knows the relationship Natasha and I have together. Mafia Princess versus me. Mafia Princess usually wins and I have no doubt that the little town we live in knows I am not the owner of the pasture. I simple plant grass seed, clean up poop and Alfred is responsible for paying the taxes. Natasha owns the property. We should just put her name on the deed and be finished with it.

A short history on the NOAA (sounds like NOAH) Hazard Radio. The first time this radio went off, I honestly came close to pooping my pants. I had no idea where the siren sound was coming from. Dogs were barking and I was in a panic. Alfred strolls out of his office and calmly explains it’s NOAA. I hate it when he strolls. The only NOAA I know has an ark.

Yesterday the NOAA Hazard Radio kept going off. Tornados, thunder storms and heavy rain were coming our way. I decided to feed the horses early in an attempt to stay dry. Everyone is in their stalls and I proceed to do my Meals on Wheels routine.

Natasha is not eating and she has gone poop in her stall. I call Jamie and ask if she could not be eating because of this upcoming storm. We discuss colic. Jamie explains that a horse can still have colic even if they have pooped. I put halter and lead rope on the Princess and we begin walking the yard. She keeps lying down and I cautiously continue to make her get up. I pull her off side and we do circles as the rain begins to fall.

I call Jamie again and ask about some medicine I have for Noel and would this help her. No was the reply. I call the vet as suggested and I get the answer machine. We keep walking and the rain drops are turning into buckets. Some two hours later the Princess decides to poop. I call poor Jamie again and she says don’t feed her tonight. Ah geez, there is going to be H E double toothpicks to pay in the morning.

I stand with her in her stall as we watch the rain fall. I put the blame squarely on Jamie’s shoulders about going to sleep hungry. I lay my arm on her neck and tell her how scared I was. She turns to me and I’m thinking I’m about to get a nose job. I slowly remove my arm and step out of the stall.

I tell the boys everything is going to be fine. Noel is thrilled, Moose is not. I head to the house to take a shower and keep an eye on Natasha from the kitchen window with the binoculars. Stall hoping begins and Moose is left standing there wondering where he will be sleeping tonight.

Natasha is back to her old self. Thank you Jesus for saving Natasha!

Noel's Last Day

April 4, 2009

Life changes fast.
Life changes in the instant.
You sit down to dinner and life as you know it ends.
The question of self-pity.

Joan Didion


What can I say about The Gentle Giant who filled my heart with so much love?

I could tell everyone he was a cutting horse who worked his body with savvy, and style. In his day, I suspect he was somebody special because of his rodeo abilities.

Instead, I’ll tell you why I think he was so special. He had arthritic knees that ached with every step that he took. He kept on walking. When I polo wrapped his knees with ThermaCare Wraps and rubbed on Surpass, he just waited for me to finish. When I held him and nuzzled my face into his neck so I could inhale his smell, he stood there waiting for me to finish this ridicules human ritual. Right before I would let go I would whisper in his ear, I love you more, than even one more day.

I called Dr. Allen on Friday, Noel was limping. He came. He said it was time. Once again, no backhoe people were available. That evening the man who helped us bury Tecs called. He could be here in the morning. The hole was roped off and I called Dr. Allen. He would be here after lunch.

Alfred got up early to make Noel’s favorite horse treats. They hid in the corner of the yard and Noel ate warm treats with his daddy before breakfast. Noel licked his lips all the way back to the barn. My tears were starting to fall as I fed and wrapped Noel’s knees for the last time.

Natasha and I were with him when he took his last breath. I buried my face in his mane and kissed his pudgy lips. Natasha pushed his head and ran around the pasture neighing and kicking. I wanted to scream with her, but I couldn’t. When Noel left for Rainbow Bridge, I wanted to go with him, but I couldn’t. It’s not my time. I have things I must finish before God calls me home.

Alfred and I wept as we worked together to bury Noel. Natasha stood at the grave until she couldn’t see any part of his body. She ran the pasture time and again, kicking and neighing over her loss. I tried to console her, but quite frankly I was wondering which one of my body parts was going succumb to an injury. I sent Alfred to take care of his girl. By dinner she seemed fine. She’s kicked Moose a few times since Saturday, but I just keep telling Moose he’s lucky to be alive.

This morning I wrapped myself in Noel’s winter coat and inhaled his smell. I sat on his stall mats and wept for the Gentle Giant who left me way too soon. The joy my friend, has left with you.